Showing posts with label tyler shields.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tyler shields.. Show all posts

Monday, July 14, 2014

Desire



Blow yourself... In the right direction. Don't do drugs. Blow kisses, not cocaine! Love yourself more! Any unhealthy toxin that you put into your body to gratify it is a poison. Yeah, I'm not talking about wang or putang. But you should probably watch out where that comes from too! Safe not sorry, perverts! Ok whatever I thought it too! ByGones and let's be moving on.

You don't always need the things you desire. From a buddhist perspective there is no difference between greed or desire. Greed is essentially an attraction to something that you think will gratify you or satisfy you. I could give you something witty that buddhism teaches but it is best you realize this on your own. Drugs, like possessions & attachments are... You don't own things, they end up owning you. Soon enough you end up tired of them and wanting something else.

Here's a story about drugs. One of the most potentially powerful addicting drugs that most everyone gets a taste of... LOVE. Well if you treat love like an object that you must own... it becomes an drug addiction that you cling to. Love is not possession or a trophy, it is freely given without condition. If you really love someone or something you never stop loving them even when the person or object is gone from your life.

Are you addicted to the things you desire? How about love?
Enjoy! 
Kisses, m. 


Love is a drug
(2-7-2010)

Love is a drug. More addictive than any other. Once you’ve had a taste of it there can be no substitution. Sweet like nectar hitting your lips and tongue for the first time. Souring all too quickly leaving an unquenchable need behind. Ruined from the moment you’ve gotten it into your system. There’s no getting it out. You can not return to life without it. Life can’t possibly compare without a hit or bump of it. Your mind screams, ‘Give me a fix.’ You’re hooked! A functioning junkie recklessly traveling hidden among the good people of the world grasping, taking down anyone that’s willing to fall with you. Foolishly you will lie to yourself, cheat yourself and deny any other way for one more taste.

Tricky business this commodity of love is. People wanting the best quality without paying the price for it. It’s not all fun and games now. This is a serious entrepreneurship. My affairs are handled with the most discretion. Some hustlers out there might be lying and tell you they market the original and barter only in the best product. Others can give you a better price. But make no mistake, I’m the only one selling the original and the BEST is my specialty. Needless to say there are unscrupulous people in this world, it is better to steer clear of those unsavory sorts who feed off of others to get ahead. Those sorts would rather trick you into believing something that isn’t real, rather than stand by their word. My word is law and I stand by my business firmly. No fakes here.

To be perfectly honest, it’s not my intention to get you addicted. In fact, by the time most of you find your way to me, it’s a crying shame. Deep in the throws of ravenous emotional cravings. Wide awake for days, no appetite, warm skin, shakes, lack of focus and completely out of your mind. Out comes my case and with the most delicate sensitivity I offer up my wares. Liquid sealed in small vials labeled #1-8. The delicate bottles lay still upon a violet crush of velvet. #1, #2, or even #3 will ease you back into your routine with the hope of a future romance. Definitely takes the edge off for the brokenhearted. #4 and #5 will grant you the illusion of infatuation. Perfect for budding affections. #6 will throw you amidst a sea of passions temporarily. Couples only. You’d be surprised that’s not a better seller too. And not for the faint of heart, but #7 and #8 will jump start a fading love. On occasion I’ve refused the wares to potential buyers. Some want a test, while others insist that I prove their worth. My experience is quite simple, it’s best not to sample the goods. Love is addictive enough without tampering with the synthetic forms. Bottom line: If you’ve found your way to me, then you’ve been given my word. That should be sufficient.

A considerable number of years pass and it’s understandable that one builds up a reasonable amount of clientele. Especially those who may know about my special products. #9 & #10? Those aren’t available to the general public. Word gets spread and the cat gets let out of the bag. My reputation firmly stands on the principle that #9 & #10 do not exist. Although a few are quite familiar with my work and have sampled #9, I repeatedly deny the product is existent. It exists to a select few, those trusted above all others. But some things, like #9, should be kept from prying eyes. If everyone knew it was so accessible they would want a piece for themselves. No one wants to share. Selfishly people take from each other without consequence or consideration for another’s feelings.

The ultimate problem is the unstable nature of love and the inability to control it. #9 & #10 deal with the most extreme intense feelings, obsession and desire. The uncontrollable area where passion and insanity collide. Both will result in instant affections, but due to the unbalanced compounds there is no telling what can happen once unleashed. Deadly to the novice and experienced alike and should not be meddled with lightly. #9 will make you fall in love so deeply without the blink of an eye, bringing with it a handful of unrestrained yearnings and emotions from all who are involved and then quietly disappearing without a trace. #10 draws the fine line between love and hate clearly before you. Obsession with no end. Deadly. Misguided affections can result in severe consequences. Perhaps the most unstable of my compounds, #10 can have the adverse affect of being one-sided, quickly reversing into hate.  A dark passion springing into jealousy and becoming deranged can seek to destroy its intended affection.

The night is coming to a close and the sun is sneaking up like a stranger with its unyielding light. Winding down to my final few moments alone, I decide it’s time to call it a night. Closing up shop for the night when in walks my last customer. After all this evening has been light, and I can tell this guy’s got a need like no other. Disheveled hair, thin as a rail, without an ounce of peace in his heart. “Give me the one that makes it better!” demands my gaunt customer with a wild enthusiasm. “I heard there’s one that makes you fall without an end. I need it! NOW! She’s has to feel it again. It’s called…”

Quickly remembering myself in the room, I try to stop him before the words come out, “I can only make it better if she is a willing participant. Despite your broken heart a love that has ended can not be revived. If you would pre-f-,” but I’m interrupted.

“10! That’s the one. Yeah, someone told me that was what I needed. It would make her love me again! FOREVER!”

“Ah. My, oh my, this is troubling. Where did you hear about that one? Love is fleeting, especially in synthetic form. Temporary are the drugs I offer. The real thing can not be duplicated. I can promise you I have something that will help your feelings. Let me give you a sample of #1, perhaps #2. In a couple of days you will be right as rain. Please?” I offer as I motion toward his hand.

Snapping back he reaches into his pants and snatches up a ball of money. Gently places it in my hand. With a breath he mouths, “Your word is law.” As he pulls back he persists, “I was referred and you can not refuse!” Deadliest of combinations, a rattled mind without a questionable conscious. A hardcore junkie to the bone. You could tell he’d been through several dark dealings before finding me. Shaking uneasily he yanks out a gun. “Just give me the Shit!” You can keep the money. I need this. I HAVE TO MAKE IT RIGHT!”

Perhaps I’d hesitated too long, but at this point there was no refusing. Silently I gather together my wares. Delicately I unhook the bottom of the case to remove the deadly pair. Carefully I put on a pair of gloves before I open #10. It was like a poison and even the smallest drop would send a grown man into frenzy. Cautiously, while the lunatic stares at me intently, I place a small amount into a vial. As soon as I’d sealed it, he snatches up the vial and races out of the shop. Immediately upon exit he drops the gun into a trash receptacle at the curb. Desperate men cling to anything in a hopeless state. Deep in my belly there’s a hope that this won’t end badly. Hope is all you really can ask for.

Love is a drug. A drug without apologies. Addicting. Mesmerizing. However it is curable. Well not entirely?  You can go without, but it is not recommended. Denying the craving will only make it stronger. You can not live without it, once it’s there.  There is nothing that can substitute for the real thing. The road to recovery is covered in debris of failed pasts and emotional disconnection, but nevertheless worth the journey. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

A taste or a mouthful?

A taste or a mouthful? Either way you'll have yourself some tears...


A taste or a mouthful?


Its really quite simple. You either want something quick or you're in it all the way. You look satisfied with a taste... 

Some people only want a mouthful.

Here's a story about a man looking for mouthful and ended up with a taste.

Enjoy! 
Kisses, m. 


Taste
(August 3, 2010)


You’re not gonna get very far if you’re looking for love. I don’t believe this. But that’s what I’m hearing tonight from the man at the bar. He can’t believe I’m wasting my time with her. I tell him not to worry. It’s just a couple of drinks. Nothing really. He says he knows my kind. The same kind that falls in love at least three times a day. I tell him if I’m lucky… only three usually it’s five times. He laughs with me getting the joke. I buy him a drink before returning back to her.

She’s easy on the eyes and has a smile like nothing I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t help but notice she doesn’t look at me when I’m talking. Not the same way I’m watching her. And I can’t stop watching her. She’s watching the door, the floor and the back corridor. Head turns and she’s licking her lips. Soft wet lips that are toying with the cherry in her Midori Sour. Bright green sets off that fire engine red like a neon sign. Every syllable makes me swim deeper and deeper in the thought of kissing those fiery red lips.

From the first moment I laid eyes on her I couldn’t help but think of kissing her. That magic moment when I knew I’d never meet her then she walked up and said hello. “You can call me Daja.” So I offered to buy her a drink. Tells me I’m absolutely delicious beneath the dimmed lights. “Divinely delectable.” Then she licks those red lips and smiles before agreeing.

Daja isn’t sitting for much longer after we finish the second round of drinks. I try to leave and she stops me by feigning sadness over my absence.
“Don’t go,” she says.
“I’m only going to the bar. We need more drinks.”
“I don’t need another drink. I just need you.”
“Alright. Tell me what you want from me.”
“Right now, I want you… to sit with me.”
“Why?”
“Why not? Sit.”
But something has her attention. Within minutes she is excusing herself and off to the ladies room. I don’t know why she made me stay. I think I see her talking to someone in the tight expanse of the back corridor, but it’s much too dark. There are bright red lips leaning inward with arms circled around a tall dark body. But it could be anyone. I get up to get another round of drinks.

“She’s not the kind of girl you’re used to.” Pipes up the old man once again. He‘s nursing another long neck and I’m ordering another round. I tell him to explain. Says she just the kind for the evening. A bird that flies at night if I get his drift. I ask him what exactly is drift is. He says that there’s more to be seen by the likes of my kind. I nod and turn my head. The bartender tells me to keep it down and wait my turn. I look around for Daja. She isn’t back yet. I’m reminded to mind my own business in the company of strangers.
“Don’t be stubborn, now” he speaks up again.
“Yeah,” I try to speak without an attitude, but it’s hard to miss.
“Yeah that bird ain’t the scene. Watch your step around that one. She’s a bit wild.”
“Good to know. Thanks for the advice. Bartender those drinks?”
Bartender ignores me and keeps after the other patrons. Daja is no where to be seen. My strange friend keeps on talking. There’s a ruckus in the back of the bar, but the old man stops me quick.
“Listen up. Listen good. Better men haven’t been the same since she got her claws into em.”
“What?”
“Tell me the truth. Ever been in trouble? Cause that’s trouble.”
I shake my head, but he keeps on talking. Rumors and tales. I’m not hearing much, but it keeps coming. Hospitals, homicides and suicides. He goes through at least ten or more before I’ve had enough. Cause this last one has a pair of teeth in that bites into my head. Literally.

There’s something unmistakable about her teeth. I’ve been seeing it all night. I can’t completely put my finger on it, but it is completely captivating. The way she curls her tongue against the front and makes a whistle sound with her ‘esses’ is not like anything else. Far from displeasing like a lisp. Intoxicating. I think that’s why I prefer her talking. I’m absolutely hypnotized by it. Nothing I could say could be interesting. Even talking about her bubble gum flavored Tic-Tacs is captivating. All I can see is her mouth move. When it makes the shape of an ‘o’ it’s more than arousing. When she moves her lips everything I’m supposed to be thinking about is no longer important. I’d burn down the building if she asked me to. Hell, I’d kill the bartender if she asked me to. I want those lips. I want to tear them off her face and eat them I'm so sick with desire. I can taste her kiss.

Daja has her bright red lips wrapped around my neck in a tiny grip. Those lovely incisors are creating just enough pain for me to enjoy it. She reminds me we don’t need drinks. I agree and walk away. We aren’t in love, but this is more than just a few drinks among strangers. I ask her about the bathroom. She smiles and talks about a line. I just keeping nodding and we leave. I don’t know why we’re leaving. Daja keeps saying “Come on.”

There’s a commotion as we exit the bar. No one is watching us leave. There’s the shrill sound of several women screaming as we walk out into the parking lot. I’m watching her lips. Not her face. Just those lips. Focused. It doesn’t matter that her lipstick is smeared. Or that there’s a spot of something on her forehead. She’s watching me walk. Watching me steady, with a desire in her eye. Watching me the same way I was watching her glide through the bar earlier. I try thinking if she was there already and I can’t remember. That moment before her lips seems to go all fuzzy. Fuzzy like the light outside of a misty window. Not quite clear, but you know its day or night by the shape of the shadows.

She laughs and tells me “I’m hungry.”
“Let’s get something to eat.”
“Alright honey, how about right now?”
“There’s nothing here.”
“Oh. Don’t be silly. Of course there is.”
She looks me up and down then makes that “o” with her lips. That captivating outline. Enticing. It’s all over with again. I’m nodding. Listening.
“Now honey, you’re gonna come with me and let me have a tiny nibble on that lovely body of yours.”
“Yes. I will.”

It hurts so bad to hear the words, but I can help but go along with it. I could walk away but I don't want to. I’m hers and she knows it. That pretty smile and red lips. Lips I want to taste. Need to taste. I’m following her deeper and deeper into the nothingness of the night. I forget about my car. Forget I have a name. I just want to go with her. I want her to take a taste. It’s ok.

There’s nothing sinister about it. We’re walking in the dark until I’m completely enticed in a paralysis. Frozen as Deja undresses me like a peeling the skin off of a chicken breast. Once bare, she takes those pretty teeth and sinks them into me. It isn’t my neck or mouth she wants. I still want those lips. Completely aroused by their movements. I want them to chew off my face. But that’s not what she’s doing. I can’t help the satisfaction I’m getting as she devours my flesh. It’s absolutely gratifying and I want her to keep going. Keep tasting.

Piece after piece, paring as she makes her way up and down. Tasting. It’s intoxicating. I can feel everything. There’s nothing but those red lips. In this moment I don’t exist. I’m where I need to be. My body aches and twinges as she works. But I don’t want her to stop. More fulfilling than anything else. Those teeth are hypnotic. Every one of them. Razor sharp. Special. White. Brighter in the dark than the light. Something about them is still the same. I can’t place it. Smiling bright red lips look my direction. They’re slowing. I can’t see her face. I don’t care. Just those lips. I want them more than I did earlier. My mind is running towards it. Calling me. Closer. In my reach. A taste. A touch. A kiss. I’m alive by those lips. She’s done. I’m satisfied. I don’t believe it… Nothing else matters.


*Photos courtesy of tylershields.com