Continuing

There is no conflict unless you see one or create one. There’s nothing in Buddhism about quitting or giving up. Just letting go. You let go of pushing & pulling to let things happen because all that push & pull isn’t truly making things happen. It’s just the illusion that it is. Usually when I tell myself “I quit” it means I’m releasing my perception of how it should be & letting go so it can happen. You don’t force love, living & breathing so why anything else? 

A very old friend of mine continues to be insensitive after years & years of us being friends. It is bothersome to me & some of our mutual friends. Although it’s hard to see discord among friends I quit forcing issues a long time back because it’s futile. You see no matter how much you try to change anyone, they won’t change unless they’re ready to. I continue to remain true to myself & address the issues delicately instead of trying to cause pain by ignoring or distancing myself, but in the end it is up to my friend to change. 

Why stay friends? People who care remain your friend and forgive your mistakes if you are making an effort & trying. True friends want the best for you as they want it for themselves. We are human & fallible.

So I don’t have the Buddhist answer for anyone who really finds themselves in a place of resistance with the universe & people in it except... quit trying to manipulate or have expectations of people or things, put in the hard work & effort into yourself & your decisions then you will see results. Doesn’t mean that people or things won’t happen or try to derail you, just means there’s something to learn when those people or things happen. Don’t make what anyone else is doing about you... especially your friends. You aren’t butting heads unless you choose to be. Realize that they’re on their own journey, like you... just love them, mistakes, imperfections and all. They need your love as much as you do. 

Here’s a 300 about continuing in the same way... it’s not quitting if it’s time to change your approach to something. You’re only returning to the start or starting over if you want to. 

Enjoy!

Kisses, m.

Again?

(4-3-2011)

Are we back here again?

He tells me that we are and that I’m supposed to know why.

I can’t see what he sees and I don’t know why

Or how we ended up here…

Again.

It doesn’t matter why.

Or how.

Or who did it.

It only matters that we’re here.

And we shouldn’t be.

There’s a thousand reasons to see things the way they were.

And one reason to see things different.

I want to see it differently.

And I wonder if he doesn’t want the same thing.

We’ve tried and failed at seeing it from each others eyes.

It’s time for us to see it the same way.

He’s busy working against me when he throws a fist at the wall.

It’s not me he’s mad at.

It’s the situation.

But that won’t stop him from feeling that anger.

That anger is fear.

And the fear is what takes us back to the start.

When he says it’s me that brings us back to the start I know that’s not true.

There is no start or end in this.

It’s nothing like a circle.

There is no center.

There is only the outside like a wall.

And what’s left inside is…

Nothing.

It’s always back to where we started when it should be where we are going.
The future is constantly changing with every move that we make.

Even when we keep starting we’re changing everything.

So why aren’t we moving forward now?

I’m ready to keep moving ahead toward what comes next.

And all he wants to do is start over again.

Again and again.

There’s no way we can win the race if it continues to restart.

No coming back to here.

Time to forget why or how.

It’s time to win the race…

Together.