Absolve

You can't blame yourself for what happens to someone else unless you did it. It's not your fault unless you purposely & intentionally caused them pain. Even if you broke their heart once, remember you are only responsible for the one time and not all future pain. It's the universe's plan that they experience their journey. But you can apologize if you ever hurt them. It helps. Realize feelings have to evolve & we have to experience things. But we can't stop feeling them though. They are part of the process.

Relationships are hard. I'm also certain that not everyone one is prepared to be in one. All people can do is be happy with themselves and hope someone someday will care for their quirks & idiosyncrasies and be willing to take the good with the bad.

Anyhow... Here's a story about pointing fingers.

Do you blame yourself or do you blame others?

Enjoy!

Kisses, m.

You. 

(9-28-2011)

“You” 

He says this word pointing his finger telling me where and when it needs to change without using any other words. 

I like when he uses words. But he’s not using them this time. 

No explanation. No request made. 

This time I’m supposed to know what’s happening with the shift of his wrist. 

One finger pointed at me. Three pointed back at him. 

All three fingers are telling him what he wants to tell me. 
I wish he would simply tell me. Ask me. Treat me like a person who he said he once cared for. 

I don’t like this. This is like walking in the dark where these actions we make aren’t any clearer. 

“Clearer?”

 He says when I tell him I can’t see any clearer than before.

Before all this when I said something to him and no one else. 

No one that mattered when I said those words for only him. They still won’t matter if I tell him again. 

Because he won’t hear my words and everyone who isn’t him can still hear them. 

They’ll listen. They’ll hear all the things he’ll never take in because he’s afraid.

And he'll use my words for him against me because he’s afraid and wants to hurt me.

Hurt and facing those who think my words are without logic.

It isn’t about them. It isn’t clearer. 

“Listen…”

He says softly before lowering his hand.
I listen and wait for his words that have yet to come. 

Knowing full well if there’s a chance, I continue to listen.

I listen and hope that they don’t mistake their words for his and my words for them. 

Words aren’t as powerful as his actions. 

Actions that calmly tell me all I need to know before he says it once more quietly.

“You”