Zen

Someone scolds me a couple days back. People often scold each other don't they. Punish others for not doing as you wish them to do. Do you punish or try to hurt people for doing things their way? I digressed. Back to my lashing... I was told off two fold. One, that it was not my place to tell anyone not to read what I write for knowledge or lessons. And two, that I'm not a true Buddhist. So I told them I as I tell everyone I encounter: I will not force you do anything you do not want to do, including seek answers or lessons from me or hold them to be truth for you. But you may read here and gain knowledge or answers if you like. And no I'm not a true Buddhist & I may never be. I was raised catholic and I still enjoy certain spiritual beliefs associated with it.

Now I tell people to seek their own truth because in buddhism you are immediately told to question everything and in essence discover it for yourself. Indeed, even if it comes from books and wiser people.  Even one of my favorite very poorly adapted buddha quotes states this: 

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." 

With people and the Zen stuff or a lack thereof it... I'm glad if anyone is affected, especially to discover your own truths from my words. And I'm sorry if anyone suffers. Spirituality is not for everyone but I really do encourage it in any form. You can take what you read for how you choose. It is your perception that makes you dislike or like the words or me. Not mine. When I find that I don't like something... I know that I need to learn something from that. It's not about the person. It's about me. 

Think back to the chicken I keep forcing down. It's not what it is. It's me. I am the reason it won't go down. Should I continue to make myself ? No, I am learning nothing from that experience, except how to make myself sick. Now if you don't want to take anything to heart that you read or experience... Don't. I really do believe the best Metta's are the closest people in our life; family, children, friends, etc. But other people can help us learn things we weren't expecting to. 

Let me phrase this differently. One of my favorite sayings is: You can't miss someone who doesn't miss you back. I am incorrect. Because you can miss someone, and it is sad if they do not have the same perception or longing for your absence as you do for them. Can you force them to miss you? No. But you can still miss them. I've learned that when people push me away it because of how they perceive me. I try not to take it personal because it isn't about me. It's their perception of me. Yes it is hurtful. But it isn't our place to judge. Does it hurt any less? No. But I can choose to suffer by it or not. Sometimes all you can do when you miss someone is give them space; it shows your respect for them. 

Perhaps people could try not to scold, punish or try to hurt others for not doing things their way? Or try explaining what it is they expect instead of punishing or trying to hurt someone for not doing it. I'm a romantic, a realist and I favor Buddhism, so I care a great deal and know true love is possible; it's possible for everyone to love each other unconditionally. I'm always happy to see others succeeding & improving themselves and disappointing when I see people hurting each other.

Here's a 300 about getting scolded... 

Enjoy!

Kisses, m.

HUSH.

1-22-11

HUSH! Be quiet. Whatever you’re doing. Please stop. That is the personal attaché to my last boss and he’s talking to the host. They’re pointing at you.  Look what you’ve done. Do you want to know what they’re saying? Come here. Excuse me. Let go of your arm because I’m hurting you? Well you’re embarrassing me. I can’t believe I brought you to this place and this is how you behave. I don’t understand why you can’t stand still and be attentive. What is the problem with you? You’re an attractive and smart woman that should be fine to hold a conversation at a function. Instead I’ve heard from the host that you’ve been playing with a waiter in the kitchen. Playing! This isn’t what I need to hear. I don’t need to hear that you’ve been blowing some waiter in the back of the kitchen. What the fuck were you doing? I don’t care if he’s an artist, a friend or the damn Pope. Look, just stop talking to the wait staff. These people have known me for years. I have a reputation to uphold. And next time you have to talk with your friend it can wait. Call him when you aren’t here. You are supposed to be here with me and presenting yourself in a manner that is appropriate to that capacity. Shut it. I’m not finished. I don’t expect much from you but right now a little bit of friendly towards my friends wouldn’t hurt. No. I don’t want to hear about the people at this party. Or how they bore you or what they used to be. And I certainly don’t want to hear how they are being something they are not. Leave? You wouldn’t dare.  I don’t believe you will. Now stay put… HUSH!