Voice

Finding who you are... Or rather finding your voice. It's not an easy path. I don't have the answers. As always I can give you the Buddhist solutions but it's best you find the answers yourself. I'm so sorry that life was even overwhelming for me for such a long time. I'm human. No, I don't feel a desire to share it all. Nor is there a need for me to.

Voices? Again I owe a great deal of finding my authentic voice to a great artist, (actually the experience of not meeting a great artist) for inspiring me to dare to live more authentically in order to be truthful in my artwork.

Who are you if not the mirror of your peers & friends? I don't know. While it's fun to pick up new things from your friends though and be inspired when they recommend something new to you... I'd rather be surrounded by great people and still dare to be myself.

Why?

In writing, I am less myself and its unnerving. So it always ends up as a fight to become myself again. It's harder when people interfere as I'm not myself and quite reactionary during that time. Now in photography & other artwork I find it's easier if you are yourself because it's difficult to tell a truthful story without knowing yourself... Inauthenticity & lying hurts creativity. Stifles it. 

You see lying is only fun when it's harmless or protecting someone from getting hurt. I'd rather chop my own arm or leg off rather than hurt someone and I've told some epic lies to avoid that. So I get why people lie sometimes. But understand... Living a lie is sad and unnecessary. 

My stories were created by my experience & environment so yes it's similar to photography but very different. Photography reflects me. Writing reflects a mere shadow of me. But they both tell stories.

One of my favorite artists is quoted with saying a photograph tells a story that a 1000 words could never convey. It's hard to imagine and I don't share this often but as a photographer I don't feel that I have my found my voice to tell stories the same way. It's a reflex to me, instinctual. Much like sculpting I lose myself to it with ease but I don't feel as though I'm telling a story yet. Someone tells me it's a gift I need to nurture by continuing. Through experiencing life and environments I will find my voice. One day like writing, it will be there but only if I continue.

Like I said I don't have the answers but Buddhism helps me the way prayers help others. I do believe in the power of prayer & recommend spirituality to everyone. And Buddhism doesn't mean I meditate in front of a shrine. I mostly walk and sit. Ah yes, I drink wine or beer on occasion. It helps me relax but much like Christian dogma drinking is not necessary or Buddhist recommended. ;) 

So meditate, pray or relax your mind and it'll come. Life's not easy but it's our challenge. We all chose our path. And the universe has a reason for giving you the choice of path it did. Just keep in mind... The obstacles aren't obstacles in your path. They are the path. 

So finding your voice... You will. At least you have to believe you will. I believe it. And when I don't, I find the universe guides & inspires me to see things differently. You have to listen to it. It's there. 

Until then... Write, draw, paint, photograph, and etc... Just create every idea you have! No matter if it's good or bad. That's not the point. Self doubt will always sabotage creativity. Can't let it. 

Kisses,

-m.