(1-23-10)
Never ending movement continuing for all eternity. There is no stopping. Swinging and swaying. Back and forth movement of the night. The rhythm has a hold of my soul and will rob my spirit from eternal rest. Sinful, but there was no better earthly pleasure than the dancing. In the realm of death it is a prison that holds my bones hostage.
The first night he came to call was very warm. Air was thick and wet. One of those humid evenings where a person’s skin just crept with electricity. There wasn’t a peaceful soul in those parts for days. As a matter of fact, that warm evening when the air was so heavy, you could feel the restless growing like an untamed beast. Same little song was playing on my Daddy’s Victrola. Same ol tune I used to frolic and skip to as a child. The only light in the whole house was a candle on the kitchen table. Too hot to sleep. Too restless to sit still. Dancing in the dark by the pale moonlight. Daddy was asleep in the rocker on the porch. Mama was watching from the kitchen. That’s when he showed up. No more than a shadow at first. Then a man emerged from nothing and took hold of my arms. Gripping. Leading. I couldn’t resist following. We were dancing. Spinning ‘neath a full moon. Daddy never stirred. Mama just sat there. The specific features of his face escape me. Even in death the details of that night are no clearer. We danced and danced, until the music stopped. There was nothing but shadows once again.
For days and days, this mysterious figure arose and appeared at random intervals and odd occasions. Every time we danced it felt as though I was losing control of myself. More and more he would press me further. As he lead, the movements became stranger and stranger until I couldn’t break free. Lost in the movement. Trying to remember my way back. I’d never been so intoxicated by the dance before. Without warn the warm nights grew quite cool from the arrival of the crisp autumn air. The enigmatic stranger remained elusive and unseen. Somehow his presence seemed connected to the season. For several days I’d longed for the heat to return. When it did not, I remembered how to dance alone easily forgetting the shadow that controlled me beneath a summer moon.
Autumn brought the change of colors with its brisk breath of air. The electricity in the air was nothing more than a bit of static. Quietly the earth prepares to slumber as the days diminish into longer nights. Nightly bonfires soon brought the joyous dances around the blaze. The movements near the fire seemed intensified by the colors. Spinning seemed to have a dizzying effect. Dangerously feeling the effects of vertigo, I pushed & pulled against the warmth of the flames. Thin orange slivers reach out from the inferno almost like the open fingers of an inviting hand. The harsh chill hits my skin with a slap as the sweltering heat beats against it with equal force. The Hot ‘n’ Cold playing tug of war for my affections.
Dancing precariously on a thin line between heaven and hell I continued beneath a black sky filled with tiny sparkling stars. Wildly my rhythm intensifies. I’d lost my shoes. My hair is loose and untamed. Spinning with my eyes closed… Stopping against something. Arms gripping. Locking. Leading. Once again I knew the dance and followed blindly without control. Growing with speed. Gripping tighter. Lost. Dancing madly. The darkness seemed to take hold deeper and stronger than before. Never wanting it to end, I gripped tighter, fiercely returning the phantom’s hold. Almost infuriated the dance changed spinning and turning closer toward the flames. Warm fingers caressing my skin, touching my hair, teasing me with the heat. Like a slight of hand and change of partners the shadow released his hold, sending me dancing into the flames. Alone with my new partner and his deadly fingers. Blue with orange tips. Spinning. Dipping. Burning. Gripping. Unable to break free. Enveloped in the blaze. Dancing to my death.
Wicked desire has created a prison to punish the whims of the flesh. Movements that hold my bones in perpetual rhythm. Haunted by the spirit of song without eternal slumber. Dancing in my bones by the pale moonlight that rests against a blanket of twinkling stars.
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