Be Still

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Perhaps it's no big affair when love happens. Perhaps there's no need for bells and whistles when you find yourself giving and receiving love. Perhaps it's just the timing. You can't be worried about missing out on the passing world or you miss what is in the present moment.  Be still and it will come to you. Let it.

Buddhism describes our life as experience and imparts that we adopt the interconnectedness of that existance  We are all the same and very different, yet we are independently dependent on each other in the grand scheme the universe. For love, for hope and for nourishment, physically and spiritually. There's nothing wrong with needing someone and even further there's nothing wrong with admitting you want to need someone. 

We might feel independent in choosing to grab fresh vegetables and eggs from the market stand in the square on a Saturday but those things couldn't be available for our enjoyment without the connectedness of so many other people in the cycle. The farmer cultivates the crops, the delivery truck takes it to the market and the merchant selling the wares place it into our hands. Much like the connectedness we feel in the market and ultimately in the universe of living, such is the connectedness of love in the universe. You must independently love and appreciate yourself to find the enjoyment in what others bring to you.When you have much to give... you will simply give it freely. Until then you learn to accept it from all the sources you've been given. 

Enjoy!
Kisses, m.



Affair

(6/14/11)

“As I can recall it’s a lot more attention than I want to draw…” he says it with a smile that lets me know that he’s in.

But of course he’s in. He’s always in.

The lobby of the hotel where we meet is always packed by the rush hour hustle of people escaping back into their lives while we’re escaping into each other’s arms. Every time we meet again it’s another excuse when it shouldn’t be.

Tumbling away from his arms I throw myself face first into the sheets to muffle my screams of pure sheer ecstasy.

Like clockwork and the steady hands of a timepiece we’ve finished making love on the floor next to the bedroom for the third time when it happens, the same as it always happens.

“No more. We shouldn’t...” I tell him.

He moves his hands a little further down past my waist and leaves them on the back of my thigh. “You always do this. You want to do this. Shhh.”

“It’s always what we want. Don’t you think we’re being selfish?” I posture my question and place three small kisses on his chest.

“Selfish. What could be selfish about love?” He turns the question back at me while playing with the soft flesh on the back of my knee.

As we embrace there’s a man with a woman possibly his wife watching us in silence. Between our breathing sounds I can see them stare from the corner of my eye while he leans in to kiss my neck. Attention, it’s always more than we need but there’s no denying the need for us. The couple moves on while we lose ourselves in another kiss.

“Love? I guess… it’s not what I’m saying. Don’t you think it’s unfair how we do this? We have to run away together, this way. The escape from our…”

“Lives? How else would we? Can you imagine if we didn’t escape?”

“The thought of having to make this work between our lives seems impossible… Yet we do.” My words are softer as I look into his eyes.

“We make this work?” The beat of his heart makes mine stop as he leans to kiss me.

Outside I let him hold me closer than before when he asks, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. No more excuses.”

“As I can recall it’s a lot more attention than I want to draw…”