Let in possibility.

Let in possibility.

Anything is possible once we let go of our fears, realized and unrealized. Most people never realize what binds them until someone else points it out. Honestly, sometimes I'm the first to deny then say "Really? I didn't know that" when someone says "Yes you are afraid!"And letting go… you have to know what to let go of and what to hold on to. Let go of what doesn't matter, the negative, and hang on to the things that do, the positive. I think people sometimes really want to see the same thing, but they can’t seem to make each other understand that and seeing it differently doesn't help. From my own experience and through watching others I continue to learn... in this is life and if there is a next, you have to take chances, even with people. 

And I would love to quote it, because I would. Yet I’m going to muddle it up because I do not recall the right words exactly… someone once said something along the lines of:  with people you have to be willing to let someone in. You give love to get love. You have to let love in and give it back. How else will someone know you or be able to give you a chance? And people do want to know each other, but no one gives each other a chance. It always stuck with me as a bit of wisdom and it’s helped so I'll pass it along. Let go of the fear and let in the idea of possibility. Possibility starts in front of you. Not down the street, another town, a person or thing. You are the key to possibility for yourself. Everyone is. Let love inside of your own life, give it out to those in your life. Help yourself to help others. Think globally, act locally. 

And as of late I've been resisting the natural order of what I call living, by not writing or creating thanks to a little bit of chipped glass last month and NOT doing is honestly, it's anything but what should be. Creating is what I love, and writing for that matter, but to create from that experience, I simply preferred do things different this time. So as for releasing the resistance… I'm following through. There is new writing to come and will not be like the last bit along with a bit of destruction to create new. And I have finally taken the suggestion of working in other mediums for art other than writing. After finishing the children's books it felt necessary to continue in a different direction. I am excited and plan to share a little more of that and those other changes. And as for my friends and anyone that struggles to find work, relocate or create... let go of that fear, you can do this. If I can, then you can. Forget the balance and jump into what you want, the positive. And let in the possibility of your own path. It's time for me to juggle…

Anyway, this is an old story. When I wrote it, I was letting go of part of the past that did not matter, the negative emotions surrounding that time period. And for the most part, sometimes you do need someone to hold your hand while you are letting go of the things that do not matter and hanging on to living. And if they are the right people, they will never let go of  your hand. They want to see you succeed happily and support you no matter what. Follow your dreams. Hopefully all of you have someone in your lives to help you through because I know I do. Magician's assistants or good friend's alike, hold on to each other. Enjoy if you’ve never read this. And word of warning for anyone who is a bit faint, it is quite a bit darker. Thinking of Matisse. Kisses. m.

Letting go.

(10-17-09)

Time heals all wounds. Or does it? Quite simply you have to question that logic. In time broken bones can mend. But what about broken hearts, dreams and bruised egos? There are things in life that we are trained to accept and move forward from. Loss of life, love, limb, and livelihood are all things that require a bit of recovery and never hold the same meaning once they are lost. Yet, you move on. This brings me to where I’m at tonight, standing on the top floor of this parking garage with Victoria. Here we’re having a heart to heart; trying to make her see things as I do.

“Things have become so distant in this life. On some human level you must feel it too? We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. I can see in your eyes there’s fear. I’m afraid too. Life is an experience full of opportunities. As I hold your hand tightly in mine, it seems as though I shouldn’t let go. But there comes a time to let go. In order to find freedom from the constraints of humanity, you must stop fighting.”

"Don’t."

She trembles and grips tighter to my hand as she begins to whimper. Shifting her weight and I’m immediately finding it harder to maintain my own balance. “Darling, you must believe this when I tell you that there is nothing left. Letting go is the ultimate release and only way. Please, shh. Listen.” Tears stream down her cheeks as the sobbing grows louder. “Victoria, I need you to remain calm. It is important that you accept this. We can not linger here all night. This must be over. See this my way. I know in your heart you can. Please.”

"D-D-D-ON’T!"

Whimper.

"Not yet. I’m not ready."

Tighter.

One might question how I find myself in this predicament. How does a person spend day in and day out convincing complete strangers to let go of life’s most crucial heartbreaks, disappointment if you will. Just a simple twist of fate you could say. At one point I’d found myself on the other end of the dial, asking a stranger to solve my life’s tough choice cause I couldn’t do it alone. What that person gave me, the advice, well it saved my life. Sink or Swim? It was at that point I realized helping others who weren’t able to push themselves was rewarding. Those who couldn’t choose needed me. What’s the harm in a little motivation?

Taking ahold of Victoria’s arm I return her grasp whole-heartedly. “Have you let this fear affect you? We’ve been through this, and it’s best if you embrace the situation. Without that dedication how can you possibly hope to let go. This is your peace of mind. Face it with the strength and poise that is within you. Do not beg for life as you know it. Accept what is to come. Be Strong.” She weakens her grip and I pull her back into an embrace. “Are you ready?” I whisper into her ear.

"Almost."

Tears.

"You don’t have to do this." 

Whimpers. 

"Just keep holding my hand until I’m ready."

My arms slowly release her body and I remained gripped in a hand lock as I lower her back down. Our eyes meet and the tears have faded. I know she’s prepared herself. “It’s time?” I question and she nods. “Victoria, promise me, you will be brave about this. I know you have the courage within you. Have dignity. Don’t scream.” Her eyes indicate certainty and I know there’s no going back. Let go.

The iron clad grip of her hand releases. There’s no fear in those blue eyes. No sounds escape that determined mouth. Quietly her body descends in a graceful freefall into the dark night reaching the street with a peaceful end.