Devour me slowly.

Devour me slowly.

(10-27-09)

Thick black sinewy limbs move around me with the urgency of a machine. Thousands of eyes crawl about watching me attentively as the work continues. Silver blankets my entire body head to toe. There is no struggle as I’m quite secure and comfortable for the moment. My entire being is mesmerized by the movements that are before me.

Nightmares that haunt in childhood should eventually fade away into adulthood. As a child I was most frightened of the things that crawled in the corners of the house and sought shelter in windows and under beds. Spiders, any and all shapes terrified my mind. The very thought would plague my dreams and thoughts for hours on end. Unfortunately the fear would never quite be quelled.

Here, in the shadows, my room stirs. Something large moves toward the foot of my bed. Creeping and crawling, calling out my name. Reach over for the light. On. It stops. Nothing. I’m alone in the room. The oversized room with lofty empty spaces that remain full of dark. Vaulted ceilings and distant corners unseen to the eye prove to be troublesome. The wind outside the window drags the movements of the night along like a scene in a movie.

Take your time, there’s no need to hurry.

There are neuroses and then there are those little things that make us insane. My distaste for these eight-legged creatures is this persistent noise in the back of my mind daily. Methodically I would spend the mornings before work cleaning out corners and dusting under beds, in closets, and throughout the house to prevent the lurking of unwanted guests.

Repressing the urge to scream I sit in bed and wait. I know I’m not crazy. Not sure of what I thought I saw but the natural instinct is to remain awake. The lights flicker out. Darkness. Storm has picked up momentum. The wind is howling outside and the rattles in the night are intensified. Shivering, I can’t stop my arms and legs from shaking. The room seems alive again. Movements in the corners hasten and sneak forward once more.

Crimes against living creatures one might suppose would elicit bad karma. I unfortunately have no qualms about killing these little demons. To be honest I’d been plagued by the appearance of spiders one to many times for my own sanity. The most deadly of these encounters led to a car accident. There I was speeding along the interstate minding my own business when out swings a rather large brown recluse down my rear-view mirror and across my windshield stealthily. Without warning this unwanted intruder descends upon me. Immediately I scream and jump which sends the car spinning into oncoming traffic. Two sideswipes and a rather lengthy battle with the steering column… I survived. My brown little trespasser did not.

His arms are around me and his tongue in my eyes.

Sitting here in the dark feeling the terror of what draws near. Impossibly real. Fear is a wonderful gift and a yet a deceitful friend of the mind as you question the very notion of your sanity. The black wiry legs reach up and over the edge of the bed. A sea of eyes makes contact with my own. Quietly the thick trunk edges up onto the bed. My instinct should be to run and seek out shelter, but I lay in silence, fascinated. The sounds are completely alien to my ears, yet I understand clearly the intention of this fiend. I can not resist.

Fly in a web. Caught. Terribly awful. The prey has no chance of escape. Captured. Hanging in the lair of the predator, alive and waiting for death. This would never stop my rampage from destroying the enemy. Casualties of war. The end would always be the same. Sweep in the corners, tear down the base camps and spray the poison till the enemy lay dead. Wounded soldiers and fatalities were necessary in this battle. Take no prisoners.

The sting of pain lasts for only an instant. Paralysis is quick. No words can escape my throat as this state of immobility takes hold. The remarkably spry giant spends a great deal of attention to my restraints as he wraps me in a silken cocoon which he easily moves aside. The beast begins to ascend into the recess of the lofty ceiling above and the work begins. Swinging about the room in an almost poetic dance as the task at hand continues. The ballet of the monster slowly spins to create an unusual masterpiece that captures both light and shadow in a harmony unlike any other. The colors of the night drift in and out of the shiny blanket of silver in the corner of the ceiling.

Swallow me whole.

Waiting. Anticipation threatens to drive me mad. The creature secures me in an upper region of the web. Below the room seems emptier, my bed seems miniscule from the corner of the vaulted ceiling. My captor moves with an effortless speed to secure my lifeless body. Locked in a questioning stare. As the demon continues to embalm me with his silken cover my vision is removed. Pain begins and recedes as innumerable mouths dine on my insides. Waves of life come and go. The very essence of my being is devoured. Movement continues around me in a frightening consistent harmony as everything slowly goes black.

Reposts. Buried alive and talking spiders were thoughts upon my mind this morning. Funny things happen when you're tired. Like passing out. Much to my intrigue exhaustion brought about the most peculiar of imaginings. Anything can happen in the mind. Anyhow, there' s been lots of lovely distractions and a brief moment of truth. Which means... back to work. deep breathes and welcome the unknown even when it brings strange imaginings. kisses for those you love. enjoy if you've never read these. m.