Accidents Will Happen.

Guy Bourdin. Video footage edited by Adam Mufti. Music by Olivier Alary. Project commisionned by Showstudio.

Accidents Will Happen.
(12-3-09)

So many simple accidents. Just those little things that weren’t supposed to happen. Someone trips over a forgotten a box. Fingers fall victim to broken pieces of glass. Ungrounded wires can cause a shock. In fact there are 30,000 household accidents each year that result in death. That means every 18 minutes someone dies. Pretty slim odds. But that’s what it is, life, a game of chance. Chances are you may fall victim or someone you may know is already dead. This is where I find myself here with death… in my heart, my bed and on the bathroom floor.

Not at all sure what I was expecting to happen after I dropped the hairdryer into the tub with him. I really should have used the toaster, but I wasn’t thinking about the aftermath. As the electricity hit the water, his body begins to twist and shake violently. Movement within the tub creates a rocking motion that sends splintering cracks into the tile. His mouth froths and clicks out inconsistent sounds. Watching the water spill out, I quietly edge my way out of the room, until it stops. Everything is dark and silent. The power is out.

Fuse changed and I’m already ahead of myself knee deep in this alibi scrubbing the bathroom floor on my hands and knees. Trying to rid myself of this problem that I’d been stupid enough to become entangled in. Not much choice as my husband will be home in less than a day and I couldn’t have this fool calling me. Dispensing of the body was going to be easy enough. Moving him wasn’t going to be an issue. But the mess of water damage and cracked tiles would hardly be acceptable. Menacing yet miniscule cracks, these tell-tale signs of my current indiscretion, staring up at me from the white porcelain tile. Meticulous to every detail my husband would notice even the smallest of inconsistencies. Replacing the tiles would be absolutely necessary.

The first break is the easiest. The fall of my small sledge hammer against the pearly white cracks the former perfection into a thousand tinier pieces. Each piece breaks away in momentous succession. Slowly as I pull away the backward jigsaw puzzle reveals the truth. Hidden deep beneath the tile in between cracks of the grout lays the pool of my deceit and betrayal. My wet indiscretion should be cleaned up and dry just in time for… He gasps. Standing before me. Alive! Before he can give a reaction I instinctually I reach over and tear into him with the sledgehammer. The instrument of death bludgeons with the purpose of a human sized meat tenderizer. The blood scatters all around. There isn’t a haven of white untouched by the lines of death as his body falls back into the tub.

Screaming infidelities couldn’t have sent a clearer message as I stand over my dead lover in the bathtub. The bathwater is growing darker and cloudier as his blood drains out. Beautiful white walls stained with thousands of red streaks. Gorgeous porcelain floor now lies beneath a crimson puddle that edges slowly towards the door.

I’ll never be rid of this! This blood will not leave. Everywhere on everything. Coating the floor, the walls, and seeping into the cracks…

So... a couple of things happened today. how rude of me to start this way. How is your day, week, been or was? Beautiful? Grand? Spectacular? Plans for the weekend? Bygones. First thing... some lovely person told me the other day to check out... thoroughly check out Guy Bourdin as I said "seen it" and to this was told: "you will love this! LOOK AGAIN!" so while perusing some LaChapelle I came across this interesting homage to Bourdin from not one fave photog out there but at least a handful of others. One or two capture it far more brilliantly than others. Well done. And accidentally came across some lovely stock videos reproduced by Nick Knight and SHOWSTUDIO of Bourdin's work that further peaked my intrigue. Brilliant. Oh well, the other thing escapes me now but I'm working on a piece that is similar to this little story and... Not death or killing, I think. Ah, the day is early yet. Um, so... yes, and planning for new later. Need to split focus. Focusing on one thing at a time does accomplish far more. oh yes, it was a happy household accident this morning in a bathroom of course. careful of those household accidents. especially for those shut-in types. please enjoy. m.