Don't give up.

Don't give up.

Don't give up. No. Really. Please don't. Wait.

There is something about living to see the day where people openly concede and give in that is saddening. 

There is a bright side to everything.

Is that a lie?

Sometimes you may still have to wonder.

I don’t. I have that answer.

People giving up reminds me of a Peter Gabriel song. Don’t give up sounds the chorus. It’s like the soft whisper in the back of your head. As I think of this the tears are close. Needed release. I’m uncertain which piece of straw broke the camel’s back, but it wasn’t mine. Maybe it was the news telling me about a man who wants to die because he suffers that did it. Or maybe it was the man that prefers captivity over freedom because he suffers.

We all suffer. Don’t pretend we don’t. We do. It’s part of being alive. We are meant to endure. It’s isn’t any one persons fault. No one is to blame.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Don’t have the answers. They are within you.

Today I’m at the bank deciding who to avoid paying… Peter, Paul or Mary? In the red or not, things don’t always look so pretty up close. In fact a Monet looks dreadful up close. If you don’t know about Monet… he was a genius and it’s just simply tiny little blots. No one would mistake this thing for art up close.

Crowds are usually interesting unless its lunch hour and you’ve just got paid. And they just did. Everyone is hungry and trying to cash a check. Oh but Friday is a fun night to go out!

Time isn’t a relevant issue as I’m number 15 in a growing line that reaches out the door. Three people give up and get back into their cars before even making it to the door. We’re all in the same situation ignoring each other in every which way we can.

Wait.

Look at your watch.

Wait.

Avoid eye contact with everyone especially the noisy greeter at the door. She can’t help us. No one can.

Wait.

Turn up the music on your IPOD and press in the headphones tighter.

Wait.

Don’t make an attempt to participate with anyone. Remember we’re Americans & we don’t like strangers.

Wait.

My teenage accompaniment has a phone that never stops sending and receiving texts. LOL. OMG. Like. No Way! Totally!

Wait.

Standing in line and being bombarded by the stories on the news. CNN live feed on closed caption so the man next to me won’t be bothered by the possibility of conversation. I can’t imagine why they put a plasma screen in the line. Standing in lines isn’t so bad that we have to be afflicted with the news. Headlines are like bullets. Starlets make unhappy cell mates while REAL people get divorced and then there are the people who don’t want their freedom because it isn’t worth it anymore.

No matter how well you think you know the world or the people in it you can be surprised by someone’s actions. Blindsided. Happens to the best of us. It’s how you deal with the bigger picture.

I’ve learned to catch the curve ball that comes out of no where.

And on occasion I hit a home run when its least expected.

But it doesn’t change that I’m still not ready to juggle the knives.

And I’ve realized they may never stop coming.

The man that wants to die plans to donate his organs so that others may live. It is a noble reason. He is terminal and wants a stranger to live a full life. He is 61. They show photos of his family for sympathy; a sympathetic family that fully supports his choice. Then there are photos of famous divorcees and convicts mixing in the jumble. No one really wants to be lonely or locked up. As much as someone wants out another wants in. There’s a story of an ex-con without a home who has committed a crime because it takes away his basic choices. No more worry about food, shelter or work. Three strikes yer out! 25 to life. Someone else will pay for him to die behind bars. Problem solved.

Does that make any of it right? In all honesty I still feel sorry for the man that wants to die.

Wrong or right.

Bright or Dark.

Truth or lie?

None of that matters when you want to quit.

But don’t. Not just yet. Someone here still wants you to keep going.

I’m listening to Peter Gabriel. Just switched over to Passion. It’s the soundtrack to the Last Temptation of Christ. That’s a brilliant film because Jesus was a man with flaws and he was still able to do great things. It also reminds me that an amazing person once told me that the Bible was a great work of fiction. And that makes me smile. I like listening to it because it helps me write. My mind keeps thinking about the news and the tears keep welling up now and again.

Monet was a painter, an artistic legend. And it’s all a mess up close. But don’t bother Googling the images. You can’t see what I’m talking about unless you get close. It’s best if you visit one sometime in your life. All by themselves these tiny little pieces are a chaotic zoo of color and yet together they make up an intricate masterpiece. Most things look a lot different up close. Sometimes it isn’t what you see; it is how you see it.

Before you give up and walk away…

Wait.

Before you ignore the person next to you…

Wait.

Before you think you are all alone…

Wait.

Before you decide you would rather die than live…

Wait.

Before you get back into the cage without exploring every option…

Wait.

Don’t give up.

-m.