My Darker Inventions.

My darker inventions. I think every so often I do like to share this little list. Are you ready?

I think one of the first things I openly discussed… The Human sofa. It’s a long story. Yes, it’s made out of
human hide. I didn’t create it, nor do I intend to. It’s offensive. Where did this come from? Back in design class a couple years ago, a night class, bored as hell, I’m taking notes on how to measure upholstery when ordering fabric for furniture, and it hits me. My teacher was explaining about leather and describing in full detail that it requires so many hides to upholster an entire couch. She was mentioning that hides have imperfections and the dermis, like human skin is porous, contains blemishes… da-da-dah. My mind wanders and I began to think, “I wonder how many humans it would take to upholster a sofa?” I don’t condone the creation of it. But merely if it exists… I want to touch it! After much research at that time, I never found a human sofa, but I did come to find out that Hitler had a lampshade made out of human skin. Creepy?

At a later date, there was the body modification thing. Altering the body to create an ideal form. The manipulation of the head, torso, and limbs for the sake of creating something unique. Barbaric? We practice this already, its called plastic surgery. Except with merely altering ones appearance to appear just like everyone else, I suggested an alternative. How about changing into a work of art? The notion of becoming a walking Picasso would be far more unique than a simple nose job. The possibility having strategically placed implants to create the ideal human walking sculpture would be shock worthy indeed.

Yet another interesting one. The use of human fluids (blood, saliva, tears, etc.) for use in art work. It has been noted that human blood was used in lacquers to create a richer more textured appearance in wood. My thought was the use of human tissue, fluids, and blood in the creation of paints, or in the manipulation of art materials. I think it might be interesting to visualize such a creation. I can only imagine what the outcome might entail. Who knows? Maybe it is already out there. I’m sure it is.

Look I’m not mad. But every once in a great while something dark crosses my mind and ultimately I’ll share it. Most likely it will scare the hell out my friends, family and honestly anyone for that matter. Lately, though this whole mess with the dark tales reminded me of some of these earlier creations and I was feeling nostalgic so I revisited. Besides, there’s always the possibility of a new one.


-m.